Sunday, March 18, 2018

You are love

Why does our society promote that we don’t talk about our problems or even help people face problems head on. Some of us are raised to look good and have a facade that everything is perfect. We watch perfect people on TV or idolize stars in Hollywood or sports figures which we know are less than perfect. We post our perfect body pose and perfect face fully made up with our hair coiffed like a fashion model. This is not who we really are so why do we pretend? Why aren’t we taught that no one is perfect. Why aren’t we taught to love ourselves just as we are instead of pretending to be someone we are not? Then we get together with someone who is initially thought to be our perfect mate and once we see their flaws we want someone new. We have the perfect wedding and the perfect looking house and we of course want our children to be perfect. I used to believe that people in those perfect houses were perfect and that lived a different life. Well the truth is they may have a nice house but their are no perfect people living in them. We all have issues and things to deal with in life no matter how healthy your family was. We all have our own ways of dealing with things, people and situations but where did we learn this? We learn from watching our parents and most people repeat what they have seen, even if they think they are rebelling against it. Why do people pretend to be anything other than who we are? To be loved or get love? To get the perfect job? To please our parents? Why do we operate this way? Is it because we watched people on TV and thought this is how life is? This is not about judgement this is about being real. We all have struggles and we don’t have all the answers. People maybe didn’t learn what we needed to in our families. Maybe we need someone else to help us in certain areas in life. Maybe we are so caught up in our own lives that we don’t see that we can choose differently. I have seen people die from drugs. I have seen people abuse their bodies for their whole lives and then when they are sick they wonder why and think someone else should given them an organ because they abused their own. I have seen people abuse their body and die early because they didn’t take care of themselves. Why aren’t we taught these things? Why aren’t we talking about what’s real and the real life consequences? I know people who brag about being a virgin when they got married but have cheated on their husbands several times and plan to carry on a lie and hurt other people. How can you post your photo with your husband on vacation celebrating your anniversary but when you are home the other 51 weeks of the year you are screwing your twenty year old co-worker. How do you do that and potentially hurt many other people and act as if I am the one who is the bad person. Why not face that we are getting older? Why not face that things change? Why not face the hurt, loss, trauma, abuse that you experienced? Why do people spend their whole lives pretending and then stuffing down these feelings with alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals, shopping and what ever other avoidance you can find. People are running scared and afraid to feel the original pain or hurt but they spend their interest lives running and afraid. It’s not easy but facing things but its the way out. Why can’t you look yourself in the mirror each day? Or should I say how can you? We have a choice and maybe it even takes awareness, insight and support to even see that you have a choice. You do not have to continue with the addicted behavior but you have done it for so long its a well ingrained grove that you are used to, like any reflex. I know from experience, I want to grab a big cookie, or candy bar every time somethings goes wrong or upsets me. Each time something happens that is hurtful or reminds you of a past hurt, you just can face, try. Try to feel it, try to face it head on. Maybe you will just lie on the floor and cry. Maybe you need to do this alone or with the safety of a therapist. You can try a new way, you can face this sadness, pain, sorrow, loss, abuse and come out the other side. The clock is ticking and the longer you wait it, just waits and maybe even gets bigger until you face it. God helps, art helps, yoga and exercise helps, music, writing and any form of self expression helps. Why do you always look at me like I am the bad guy? I am just the one who faces my feelings and tells the truth. I don’t live in that perfect house, I don’t have the perfect body or the perfect husband but I have me. I have the person inside, who I am, that I have learned to love. I am learning every day to love myself and have self compassion for all of those parts. All those parts that might seem unloveable are there waiting for you. They are like a child version of yourself, try to look at that part of yourself as a small child, it helps. We often have more compassion for other people, try treating yourself as if you love your self instead. Please....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

peace in nature

Botanical Garden

stone images

Friday, May 21, 2010

sun down

sometimes there is a path

stone at Glenn Island

NOT my art @GAGA

Industrial view at GAGA

Imagery and Transformation

the unexpected in nature


lake minnwaska



things are getting brighter

collage with Sophie

self expression

Saturday, August 08, 2009


I think most of the spiritual life is really a matter of relaxing- letting go, ceasing to cling, ceasing to insist on our own way, ceasing to tense ourselves up for this or against that.
Beatrice Bruteau in Radical Optimism

Tree meeting and merging with other trees

Healing Goddess

Glen Island Landscape

botanical gardens- flowering tree

family and friends tree of life

tree series

twisted branch

hole in tree

This tree was created in phototherapy

Pepsico sculptures and the Goddess of Nature

I love to walk at Pepsico and each year there seem to be new sculptures that speak to me. For many years it was the people and the women goddeses made from car parts. Now I seem to walk in the opposite direction and found new images that speak to me. Eve is she embracing herself or hiding? The metal mandala. I love walking at Pepsico and being reminded about my love or art and nature.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

mandala flower

cat eye in heart

I am not sure of the meaning of this. I did look at the symbols and their meaning for eye and heart which said:
heart- source of illumination and happiness
eye- understanding, clairvoyance, light hidden within darkness

Saturday, February 21, 2009

'Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit than a secure future. There is no greater joy then to have an endlessly changing horizon.' -Alex McCandless

Monday, February 09, 2009

definition of how I see myself and my work

Cathy A. Malchiodi wrote "to be appreciated for what we know best- that the creative process of art making is healing and life enhancing and that all people can benefit from the therapeutic potential of the visual arts".